the following will seem like it doesnt make sense. so the summary of the point is...

I dont want to ever fall in love ever again and I want to be in light forever as I am over it.

 

 

 

Iv'e been sitting in the world of light for  day and a half and I decided that I'm giving up.

 

I am lost and I want to go home.

I'm over waiting for my man to save me.

I'm over crying on the inside all the time but not on the outside.

 

I have done nothing wrong ever in my whole entire existence on Earth.

Yet, i manage to succumb to all the worlds worst.

 

Last night, some guys who are meant to protect, spiked my drink and I realised it before I got sick.

I had to defend myself and I did a really fuckin good job.

I put my light angel wings on and told them all ... in a way that made them freak out... to never fuck with me ever again.

The main offender said sorry to me. Thats all i needed. I like to do my own police work as mostly, police have never helped me and disregarded me as a strong girl who can deal with it herself... whatever it was that actually happened to her.

 

Anyway, i feel like:

 

I want to go home.

I walk away from Earth for the sign is not there.

I am a sign of light.

I saw a sign, and it was 'love on earth, go this way'.

I went that way,

And now I'm not able to find it.

 

I guess what I am meant to see is that I was in love with my ex fiance and that made me extremely happy. I really needed him to show me love.

But  we lost our love for each other as we lost respect for one another.

I then fell in love with the light and found love in the real ones - Jesus and Mary.  I discovered the roots of my soul. I saw the light and learnt everything I know from above. I didnt need books or anybody to tell me.

During this part, I saw a man on Earth I decided was my Jesus...

I loved him as I saw him as an angel of light on earth - like myself. rare.

He is not able to see me the way that I see him.

I dont need anything more that this and I dont want to love anybody else.

I have decided that the last men standing have done their work.

I've seen my men and I have cried for them.

Therefore, I am able to say that I love a man on earth - and he is my Jesus. He has my heart and my light and my soul.

And I love him even if he doesnt love me.

 I will love him forever.

 

Right now, i dont even like him. And he doesnt like me.

 

So, I guess thats the story, i found life, I found love, I found light.

 

I found fucking nothing! And I'm over being here.

 

I have light in my soul and light in my heart and I'm a light angel walking on earth to see a certain part..

A love that I denied having in my heart.

I love me.

I love you.

We are love.

And its forever.

As forever love is what we all want to become.

So, I'm here. I am love forever.

I'm Gold.

 

Believe it or not :)

 

 

i Just cant really be arsed with the whole earth.

 

The science of earth and gods creation are sealing lights. Its a big day for angels.\

 

i will explain more as i learn more.

We, the light angels of love, and life and light

and dancing with the saints tonight.

We are sending our light into one.

We are giving up on all the worlds except for one .

we are dying to see the light.

The light on one.

The golden light angel.

the child.

 

 

 

I am dividing myself into night an day and giving my golden light to a Jesus, hay.

 

what is coming next?

i dont know.

will i be placed in light for good?

or do I see the soul of light on earth ?

i gather it will all be ok.

 

 

My Biggest Issue is Trust.

 

I dont trust anybody and its a big problem in my life.

 

I put it down to old events. I tell people its due to that, but its not. Its due to the reasons as to why we are all on earth. The sins.

 

Purity is what I want to see.

I

I dont want to be so alone due to my trust issue.

I wish I would see somebody in the light I see myself.

 

I have trust issues.

I dont want to be lied to and treated like I am worthy of it.

I'm not. I dont deserve it. And if i see it, I lose trust in the person.

 

Is simiple what i need.

I love you. Love me too.

Be good.

You believe in me. I believe in you.

We will love each other forever.

We dont lie, as we have spent our lifetime purifying our souls and its not worth it.

 

 

 

 

 

sometimes i wonder why i'm not saying much in my blogs anymore

 

I think maybe its because I have really said everything I need to say at this stage of my life.

I have been there, done that emotion and spoken of every emotion i have ever needed to speak of.

I now have decided that there was one thing I missed....

 

I decided to teach something that is really quiet fucked....

ie.

 

Sick ass motherfuckers are: Those who will reoffend based on the concept that the original offender will get the blame.

They use past traumatic events as a weapon to fuck you over and fuck with your mind.

 

I am saying. DONT TELL  people...WHY YOU NO LONGER TRUST ANYBODY.

 

as some sick ass motherfuckers will put you in the same position as you were in before and do the same wrong to you as what was done before.

 

They will make you feel like they are not being bad or wrong and that its all because of what happened to you before. They make you feel like they are not doing anything wrong and that its all part of the previous horriffic incident you went through.

 

when really  they arent and that they are just doing the same thing as the other guy did as they know they can get away with the point of... you're still emotionally disturbed and that is why you are thinking this.

 

eg. if I said to somebody that my ring was taken off me and replaced with a diamond that was nowhere near the same as the original. Then they would do the same thing to me. For I am somebody who will be defined as... do you really think this happened again!

 

anyway.... I discovered one of the reason why they say....

 

DONT TELL ALL YOUR SECRETS.

 

trust one - your own heart.  dont give up on anything ...

including the ones who are sick ass motherfuckers....(and that only applies if you are an angel).