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    May 29

    My last Day with DTF

    Well, today is my last day at work.  And I need to get there by 9..
     
    So I should go and be proud of the work that I have done.  For I am.
     
    It was  a 3mth contract..
     
    I will leave with and be o.k with it as I did what I was assigned to do and I produced good work .
     
    My neighbour Maneka at work bought me a beautiful neclklace star cross . She is the lady who's friend I did the healing on. The one with the brain tumors who is recovering now, instead of not recovering.... which is fantastic.
     
    Out of this job, apart from actual gaining graphic design experience at last, I got more than I have ever would have imagined,
    I got to give a lady who was on her last  light, healing and hope and life and happiness.
    I also got Recognistion and belief in me as an Angel of Light by the those who saw what I'd done.
     
    Oh, and I amet a group of really cool eccentrics who are a bit odd like me and who handled me being odd. No judgement. :)
     
    Loving the Pin up doll culture!now i know what it is. Thanks David :)  I'm going to do a poster soon. :) a new one.
     
    David... first conversation we had... about what God is!  ..  mighty impressed
    May 27

    sleeping by my sis

    I was alone last night in my house and I was a bit scared. I'm not usually alone. Very rare.
    And all night I felt like I had my sister next to me asleep in my bed. My sister is in hospital getting prepared for her radiotherapy as she has cancer.
    My cat Harley was really next to me.
    May 26

    feelings

    I think another reason why I dont write on my blog anymore is because its my diary and I dont want people to know what I'm all about because I'm over being ridiculed.
     
    But there are heaps of people who do love me and I so thank you for that. x

    sister healing

    I havent been blogging much lately as my life has been pretty depressing and non- interesting.
     
    My sister was diagnosed with cancer two weeks or so ago and that has been a big worry.
     
    Update is... I did a healing on her. I havent seen her since the healing but she is o.k.
     I scared her as she was lifted into light... literally... she had an outer body experience.
    And its scared her.
    It didnt happen while I was with her, it happened later after I had left her house.
    She actually looked really good and was happy and really positive about getting well after the healing. So i left and went home.
    She starts radio and chemo next week.
    Hopefully I'll see her again to do another healing before then.
    I've been doing distant healings on her in the meantime.
    I pray with all my heart and soul that she'll be o.k, healed and cured. Amen.
    May 14

    FREEDOM OF SPEECH

    Freedom of Speech
    FREEDOM OF SPEECH

    intervention

    I didnt do the healing today on my sister.
    I guess it will be done when its meant to be done.
    I didnt really feel like I could do what I needed to anyway, so its probably better that I do it another day.
    May 12

    healing cancer - (and blog 2 venting the dark before)

     
    Hi All. I need help. I need you all to pray that I am in Jesus light tomorrow, particularly morning. Ask the Angels to guide me and take me into the golden light. 
    Pray that I lift to  the light of love as I need to heal the cancer that my sister has. She got diagnosed last night. 
     
    I Pray that I  am able to heal my sister. Amen x
     

     
    DONT READ THE FOLLOWING IF YOU DONT WANT TO GO...,. OH NO, SHE'S STILL ON ABOUT IT.
     
    this is the part of me that i needed to get out of me if I am able to heal her. I needed to say what i'm thinking, regadless of what it says... or whether I should have said it or not. Its the hurt part of my heart that allows me ... to drink from the spade of love. The spade is the dark part of love. 
    I need to go into darkness if I am to get to love. Complete a cirlce. Ride the wave of light.
     
     

    blog 2 - the dark side of light. Drinking from the spade of love.
    inverse helix = evanesence... get ready for return of the crazy girl

     
    Have you ever looked at your life and wondered who the fuck you are and why the fuck you are here.
     
    Do you ever think that a sentence that somebody used on you to make you feel like an idiot, was actually a really accurate description of where you are.

    I have discovered that I am an inverse helix. Thanks Cheekygene. 
     
    Im a lady of the light who is an inverse of the water side. Im sailing on a river that is going in reverse. I'm changing the right of the last screw to the left.  and I'm all screwed up for  I got screwed over!
     
    I am thinking about all the stuff I"ve been through in the past 1 year and then the one half year before that. And how I've mostly seen more than any other man or woman has had to see. I've been there and done it all!
     
    I've gotten so many bad friends from it, and so many new men from it who are all fucked in the head over the year that i havent paid any attention to them.
     
    And now, I go to get the golden light...
    so that i can get my distant healing heart out and get my sister a light. For she has just been told that she has cancer. I'd like to put my hands on her, but she's too sick tonight to see me. I"ll see her in the morning and just hope and prey that I still have the light in me to heal .
     
    I'm the ghost that will heal her.
    The light angel if you prefer. The one who has already done it all herself and not given anybody any information about it for I was nuts! and I wasnt really curing my cancer or curing my soul or curing my whole heart and mind. I was nuts! And i didnt get any proof of either at the end of my full 7 months of psychiatry! They were not sure.  I just finally got the head scan i needed that said nothing. Not even enough for them to say.. hey, there is a cancer but we never saw it!
    Do you realise how many times this happens to people and who are just left to die on their own!
    do you know how many people never die! na, neither do I?
     
    Do you know why i'm saying this... because I dont say it and I need to.  I dont care if i'm graded as nuts, cos for the work I did, I really disregard anything that is said to me that doesnt make sense or that is just a typical 'not know' response.
     
    I need my mother. my mother is my friend. my sister gets to say that. I got to sit in a house on my own and blacken out all day long while trying to find my phone to call the motherfuckers who i hate.. police! or the doctors!
     
    i never got to ever call them as I was never able to!
    ..... i could go on and on about my hurt over the cure I had to do on my own head and my own whole heart and whole soul and whole light energy being...
    but nobody would get it!!!
    And I never will either.  I just see that I
    I was just really fuckin ill for mainly 3 months hard  battle, and I cry every time I think about it.

     
    May 08

    disturbed fashion sense today

    to reflect my distubia attitude today
     
     
    i've got these stockings on.
     
    and my face looks like this.
     
     
    and my  shoes look like this.
     
      disturbia is in the air

    i am wearing a black scarf
     
    and my nails look like this
     
     
    May 06

    The Goodbye dance-off.. Oliver's going away party

    I took Oliver to the airport tonight. SAd :(  I'll miss him heaps. He's off to Cananda. He had a going away party and the following are a few antics from oliver and I.
     
     
    The Dance -off.  Olijah v Oliver (Ol v Ol)
     
    Ollie  - WINNER - pulls out a few unbelievable moves and take out first place.
    OlLiE is now off to Canada to show his extraordinary dancing talents at the World titles.
     
    Below: Olijah Angel in her floor pose -  takes out 2nd place.
     
     
     
    May 04

    I like Lily Allen - she's funny :) makes me laugh. Its a kind of throw your hands in the air and say "I give up" attitude

    The Fear
     
    I want to be rich and I want lots of money
    I don't care about clever I don’t care about funny
    I want loads of clothes and fuckloads of diamonds
    I heard people die while they are trying to find them
     
    I'll take my clothes off and it will be shameless
    'Cuz everyone knows that's how you get famous
    I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror
    I'm on the right track yeah I'm on to a winner
     
    Chorus
    I don't know what’s right and what's real anymore
    I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
    When we think it will all become clear
    'Cuz I'm being taken over by The Fear
     
    Life's about film stars and less about mothers
    It's all about fast cars and passing each other
    But it doesn't matter cause I’m packing plastic
    and that's what makes my life so fucking fantastic
     
    And I am a weapon of massive consumption
    and its not my fault it's how I'm program to function
    I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror
    I'm on the right track yeah I'm on to a winner
     
    Chorus
    I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
    I don't know how I’m meant to feel anymore
    When we think it will all become clear
    'Cuz I’m being taken over by The Fear
     
    Bridge
    Forget about guns and forget ammunition
    Cause I'm killing them all on my own little mission
    Now I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner
    Now everything is cool as long as I'm getting thinner
     
    Chorus
    I don't know what's right and what's real anymore
    I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore
    When we think it will all become clear
    'Cause I'm being taken over by fear

     
    2ND SONG I LIKE...
    FUCK YOU
     Look inside,
    Look inside your tiny mind
    Now look a bit harder
    Cause we're so uninspired,
    so sick and tired of all the
    hatred you harbor

    So you say
    It's not okay to be gay
    Well I think you're just evil
    You're just some racist who
    can't tie my laces
    Your point of view is medieval

    Fuck you (Fuck you)
    Fuck you very, very much
    Cause we hate what you do
    And we hate your whole crew
    So please don't stay in touch

    Fuck you (Fuck You)
    Fuck you very, very much
    Cause your words don't translate
    And it's getting quite late
    So please don't stay in touch

    Do you get,
    Do you get a little kick out of
    being slow minded?
    You want to be like your father
    It's approval your after
    Well that's not how you find it

    Do you,
    Do you really enjoy living a
    life that's so hateful?
    Cause there's a hole where
    your soul should be
    Your losing control of it and
    it's really distasteful

    Fuck you (Fuck You)
    Fuck you very, very much
    Cause we hate what you do
    And we hate your whole crew
    So please don't stay in touch

    Fuck you (Fuck You)
    Fuck you very, very much
    Cause your words don't
    translate and it's getting
    quite late
    So please don't stay in touch

    Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
    Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you,
    Fuck yooooou

    You say
    You think we need to go to war
    well you're already in one
    Cause it's people like you
    who need to get slew
    No one wants your opinion

    Fuck you (Fuck You)
    Fuck you very, very much
    Cause we hate what you do
    And we hate your whole crew
    So please don't stay in touch

    Fuck you (Fuck You)
    Fuck you very, very much
    Cause your words don't
    translate and it's getting
    quite late
    So please don't stay in touch

    Fuck you, Fuck you
    Fuck you, Fuck you
    Fuck you, Fuck you

     
    AND THIS ONE IS FUNNY. I'd like to see the 'I think your really mean" part of the song, taken out and made into a whole separate song called Mr Mean.
     
    ITS NOT FAIR
    Oh, he treats me with respect
    He says he loves me all the time
    He calls me 15 times a day
    He likes to make sure that im fine
    You know I've never met a man
    Whose made me feel quite so secure
    He's not like all them other boys
    They're all so dumb and immature
     
    There's just one thing
    That's getting in the way
    When we go up to bed
    your just no good
    its such a shame!
    I look into your eyes,
    I want to get to know you
    And then you make this noise
    apparently its all over
     
    It's not fair
    And i think your really mean
    I think your really mean (2x)
    Oh your supposed to care
    But you never make me scream
    You never make me screamf
     
    Oh, it's not fair
    And it's really not okay
    It's really not okay (2x)
    Oh your supposed to care
    But all you do is take
    Yeah all you do is take
     
    Oh I lie here in the wet patch
    In the middle of the bed
    I’m feeling pretty damn hard done by
    I spent ages giving head
    Then I remember all the nice things
    that you ever said to me
    Maybe I’m just overreacting
    maybe you’re the one for me
     
    There’s just one thing
    that’s getting in the way
    When we go up to bed
    you’re just no good
    It’s such a shame
    I look into your eyes
    I want to get to know you
    And then you make this noise
    and it’s apparent it’s all over
     
    It’s not fair
    And I think you’re really mean
    I think you’re really mean (2x)
    Oh you’re supposed to care
    But you never make me scream
    You never make me scream
     
    Oh it's not fair
    And it’s really not okay
    It’s really not okay(2x)
    Oh you’re supposed to care
    But all you do is take
    Yeah all you do is take
     
    There’s just one thing
    that’s getting in the way
    When we go up to bed
    you’re just no good
    It’s such a shame
    I look into your eyes
    I want to get to know you
    And then you make this noise
    and its apparent it’' all over
     
    It’s not fair
    And I think you’re really mean
    I think you’re really mean (2x)
    Oh you’re supposed to care
    But you never make me scream
    You never make me scream
     
    Oh it’s not fair
    And it’s really not okay
    It’s really not okay (2x)
    Oh you’re supposed to care
    But all you do is take
    Yeah all you do is take