i dont like the mood i'm in.
so i will get me out of it.
somehow.
what do i love?
i like the beach.
i like people who like me.
i love my cat.
these are the things that will make me feel better.

you know what I really hate. When i get invited somewhere and I'm running a bit late. Its just taken me an hour and a half at least getting ready. Ironing clothes, doing hair makeup etc etc. and then i get a call, saying dont worry about coming as we arent going to stay long. I always get it as I'm just walking out the door. in other words i just wasted my afternoon getting ready to go nowhere. that was my sunday today. yay. My saturday night was pretty much the same. It pisses me off majorly.

today I spent the arvo painting in the sun wearing my new bikinis and drinking champagne. I bought them especially for the backyard painting occasion. They cost me $10! which I bought with the $10 I won from a scratchy. bargain. I've attached a pic. I probably look like a tart attaching a pic, but who cares. As long as I know I'm not, thats all that really matters. and if i look like a tart, i cant help it. its what i look like. You cant really understand the bargain without seeing a picture to prove it.

Im in one of those moods where you look at the way things happen on earth. The way people are and how we do these routine things that basically is called life. Its kind of reality for some and misery for others and not even thought about by most. Its just the nature of the world we are in. Its about being a person who can live on earth and be o.k.

Today I 'm good thankyou. Thats what we are meant to say isnt it?

How do i come up with a pants off friday party outfit? Any suggestions anybody. At this point my foot is so swollen i cant walk. I dont know why. Maybe a bite. Theres a mark there. Id do pants off if i had a better bum. I came 2nd in a butt nakid surf bum comp 10yrs ago. I prayed not to win so my family didnt find out as winner went to the gold coast the hawaii if she won again. I remember my ex caught me on stage and wasnt impressed. Ha giggle. Good ol days.

rise without faith
rage with your fate
proving my condition
was a nasty date

lied in your hollow
you will believe i'm down
i've rolled my blood, trailing
a line to where i'm found

a bed of nails, i wake up
raising up my head
man kind will help me
raise me when I'm dead

i fall but rise to see you
mary magdalene
i collected change, changing
in in a room youve been

mission takes me higher
im on a bed of nails
i'm rolling down the music
brave for fate that fails

i was a slave for right now
i dont deserve this pain
no chest will help me take it
dying at the rain

i waited, where are you now
mary, whats your name
i raised in the face of
another fallen shame

get up now, heave ho
get up now. heave he
get up now, he hold
he ho he heavin he

broken pick me up
and i'm in pieces
dying but pick me up
re release jesus.


this is where i rest  my case
for rest in peace i face
now change this world
I raise. I raise. I raise.

Last night I went to Ambar and had a dance. I love dancing. And my desire of yesterday to have a buddy that is into the same stuff I am into came to fruition. I met a guy called Olly! Ol they call him. Same as me! A really great spiiritual guy that loves to dance and just be free. He looks 21 but he's 34! And we just got along like we had been best friends for years. He could possibly be gay, but thats a good thing. He seems a real genuine guy that had the same longing as me.. to find a person to hang out with that understands and who can act as a teacher also. Somebody who can help me move along the line that takes me to where I need to be.  So, on this Easter Sunday, I give thanks to my angels for sending me Olly. And to Jesus, I would say 'youre a star'.

also i could have sworn it was Andy Lee mixing last night. Looked almost exactly like him. I know there were 4 angels at Ambar last night. I really need to meet andy lee and hamish one day to figure out what the whole soul connection is. I know he and Hamish have a knowing of Blink 182. And thats a clue to who I am, so it must be a soul sitting along that line... of light, or thought, or realm. its interesting when you are trying to figure out the whole universe through who you are and how you sit in amongst it all. The world around us. And where the window that connects us to another is positioned. maybe he is like a house next door. A neighbouring soul that keeps popping his head through the window to say hi every now and then. But who never really comes in and sits to have a chat.

guess what. your turn to find me! take another 678 years if you have to. I had to search that long to get you to come out of your shell that kept you under the sea.

oh yeah, find me and you get the gold. if you dont, you get another 1200 years to work out where I am. And then I may not even come out to tell you I'm there. I'll just dip and run to avoid being found. Probably think you are a bad person by then. Maybe I lose sight of the real man you are.

hey its like Where's Ol, much like where's wally but in a world you cant even see or get to without moving mountains.

o.k I got how many seconds to hide? have I got 22? its my favourite number.

I am officially free for I have now been put to bidders meaning that the chair that i saved is saved for an unknown. Chairs are free for I have got the power to solve the puzzle of light. So I can be a bad little girl and let the good chair go to the first bidder that comes in around the close of light. its gold, so you have to be gold to even get to the close of door. Know what I mean? nobody probably does. Its o.k. I'm use to being a light foreigner speaker.

I have a good girl in me tonight as... one would say i have done good to get to this point...
 i dont really have a longing to be around a certain male anymore such as my invisible partner. i am just me. And I know that I can be me wherever I want and whenever I want.  I'm just a free lady connected to maybe just one who has to solve his own heart problem. i'm o.k either way now.

let us be free.

I AM FREE

somebody wipe the smile off my face. days of light are likeable ones thats for sure. I have guessed that here is an kid sitting somewhere wondering why I'm here. Noone else knows so why would I. Unless.... i have golden light in my light and can see the future of my line of light that makes me special. I've a gift for this kid. Well, I know who he is. But I can say anything as he will know when he is meant to know. And I dont drive. A knight will drive me instead. And put it all in place for the sea shell that so is meant to be seen when I read his head.

I have basically given all the answers I have in me to my forefather of a world that counts upon me to see what I have left to see. God bloody hell, how do you know when you have to give up everything to see the same thing you see all the time???? The best million dollar question in the world is ... let him be coming to you to sell you the answer.

you can answer this... 

'how many bunny eggs did we place in the basket?'

 if you answer right, then we go light hoppin for easter. cloud jumpin, light lumpin. we'll walk through water and we'll see the sunset. We get to be heavenly on earth and I am your very special tour guide who will light your way. Lots of fun we will have.

do you know the answer???

I will give you a one time best offer light night in heaven for the man who can answer the simplest question in the world. Well it is to me as I have the answer. If your soul was hangin with the golden light children, then you will know too and i will know that you have the essence to join me in light crusade! I kind of need a soul pretty soon for there is a reason that may be tied to well.. jesus sipping sodas at the Ambar tonight. he will appear somewhere. maybe the ambar as I'm goin there... i think. I could get bolted to the floor.. who knows.

i may even receive a knock on the door tonight from a person who is looking for somebody or maybe he is a salesman of some sort. i'd like to say what I have rehearsed as I've been waiting for this knock for 4 years now. It will be good to see it actually occur. Less proof for the insanity file on me. More proof that I can see what will happen on the days that will make a difference in my life. De ja vu is my dj name.

I'm going to Ambar tonight by the looks of eagerness to just be in amongs people and dance. If he came to the door then, it would be a sacrilige. Perfect answer is... I dont give up anything anymore to chase men or women. I just sit and let them come. They need to, they will. And i dont expect any one to knock as I know that realms are really hard to ascertain at times... for that particular reason. Time is difficult when youre jumping boundaries of light. Gets a bit muddled in the centre. The point that I know the axis point to. That one that Brown would probably love to know. Hey Dan, do you need me at all. I dont give up much unless you really wanted me too and needed me to see you. I'm here. I'm sure you will find me if you find out that I know. I wont tell you though as I could be a nutter imagining it all and I dont sell my gift to just anybody. Only those who like to follow me. I'm alot like jesus in the way he did his heart. Except my heart is full and his isn't. I got one point further than he... not bragging or anything as he got to stay in the light. I got to return when I didn't need to. I did it all for you. You rude prick!

NEW WORSHIPPING SYMBOL – POWERS OF LIGHT THAT TAKE YOU TO ANOTHER REALM.

today i received two more reiki symbols from my master in light. I've been shown the pattern and meaning of one. The other is sitting on my right arm waiting to be sealed to my palm. Its a rare symbol called Anenda. It is the central piece of the reiki complete picture of symbols. therefore it is joinjted to all other symbols. My master is the first buddha ever and this has been confirmed by my reiki teacher on earth when i did my mastership. He is day passing and my powers are really strong. So if anybody has an ailment they need fixing. let me know by noon. I got til 1pm to let it shine. The symbol i've been given is something i probably need to show. I'll finish the attunement first and draw it on my bad design program (i am adobe trained so I'm a bit funny when i cant use the powers of my illustrator). its the best. Much like the symbol I got given. Its the symbol to foolproof the work that is done during the placement of the symbols on the palm. takes the memory work out. For the light of each symbol passes through the centrepoint of the ae Anenda.

I cant not believe its real, but I may confirm it with Dot, my earth reiki master. She is my mentor. She understands and confirms my world. Its good when you got people trying to make you doubt yourself. i never do though. I love Dot. She is cool. I gotta go fix some health issues and need a bit of face work. Im going to try some lifts and smoothing on my eye wrinkles. Really does work. maybe a bit of botox :) too. they have much more skilled doctors in the light that can pretty much do whatever they like to a reasonable extent. I back my beaty work up with... well, if I'm meant to have this golden child and perform miracles while maintaining a smile and a laugh all while trying to score the husband who has no like for me at this point. Then I need all the help I can get to achieve the things god set me to do on earth. One.. be beautiful. I'm meant to have all the things I need to succeed. They just arent there until I really need them. I'm 30 now. I'm getting too old to create a world of life for my futre partnership. I'm giving up at 35 I decided today. I have now chosen a pick a path book for my life. Accept I only got one way here unless there is a road I dont know of yet.






















THIS SYMBOL OF LIGHT – THE ANENDA – will allow powers of light. It is a base symbol that required efficient use. Its use is rare on an earth plan but rarely not used in light. It will allows powers of strength and wisdom and determination to succeed. It is a foolproof method of reactivating the other symbols. They are all joined to this central piece and they require much needed light to force them into this earth. We are all being given these symbols and and danger is in the air as movements in the first time instance will plow the light lines. They will be given a realm shake up. Blowing winds will blow when we near the future. The symbol is a light symbol used or reiki and

I often have lots of song lyrics and tunes to songs in my head. I dont play musical instruments and I'm a bit shy but I can sing if you'll let me ease into it gently and then let me sing at the top of my lungs (its the only way to get the real voice). I  need a guy friend or a musical chick to hang out with and play and write music. I need to be able to feel really comfortable with them. I have wanted somebody like this for about 5 years now. I find the odd person (like 1 so far) but i'm too weird for them. He's reasonably normal. I'm o.k by myself but I need to learn off others and offer what I have to others that can use it. I wish i could find a buddy. (i'm possibly getting my piano out of storage today. I will cry if i do. I so want to play it)... i'm trying to write a nice ballad piano piece that i could sing. Something like Everytime by Britney Spears is what I like. But i just cant without help. I can get a melody but it needs to be worked so as to sound like it rolls along in a beautiful rhythm. is there a shortage in creative men in the world or do I just attract normal people. Maybe i get a nose ring so I look creative. it could help??? I'm actually fun to hang out with. I think anyway. I only hang out with people who have no interest whatsoever in any creative activities. makes life tough.

MY POSSIBLE AD:

hey PEOPLE WHO LIKE TO BE CREATIVE AND SING OR WRITE OR DANCE!

DO YOU HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE LETTING YOU BE THIS WAY?   

because I DONT AND NEED THEM. 

BE MY FRIEND..WE CAN DO STUFF...

STUFF COVERS ALL WEIRD CREATIVE MISSIONS OR DARING ACTS.

otherwise....

BANDS REQUIRING A MARKETING CONSULTANT ...

I GIVE GREAT MARKETING ADVICE. IM A NATURAL GURU IN BRANDING AND I'M A QUALIFIED MARKETEER.

COST: FREE! YOU JUST NEED TO LET ME HANG OUT WITH THE BAND! I'll throw in years worth of songs and poetry.

a little pop song i wrote. one of those few word songs.
I like you babe you feel free
I like you babe you feel free
I like you falling in love with me
I like you babe, you feel free

I like you when you are waking
I would love you to say
I'd like to fall into your love
fall into you today

falling in love is a free fall
and baby you feel free
I like you babe you feel free
i like you in love with me

da da di da
da da di da
da da di da
da da
di da di da

why do you parade me now
when you never knew my name
wider aisles, bigger beds
while the worlds are all the same

dancing man will you pay
for the price you felt today
whiter fire, wider sea
what a world baby for me

do make more than me
i'm only what, what you see
i got down, dug the dirt
where the men wont pay the skirt

While i feel a little tired
I'm trying to decide
on words to say
its all in my pride

wider wide, water side
tall i tell you not to hide
wider free, free for all
dont ring me up, ill pay to call.

theres a first time and a last
I'm doing time bought in the past
then the one decide that I can see
was heaven and thats all me.

holdin on by hands, you wear gold
am i holdin on for i'm almost sold
do you have to place another man in my face
for the last time i can see this race
 
i worked it out
its a bed to be
but the bed was broken and it sold for free

beds are bidding higher and higher
for the first time i may just be buyer
perfect Woman pay but men today
and biddin for the beds burning in their way

If I want to see you this is where i'll be
holdin on to what you hold for me
I'm trying to save a little more of my pay
I cant believe i just got one more day

rollin higher first time buyer
date me with your hope
my parts entire
did you need a seat another hand
did i tell you i'm practicing for that band

I look in the mirror
what do I fail to see
I like the pants that I put on me
they rule their white with a pin stripe
direct from the usa and all the hype

do you think you could stay for a little while
collect the post, you could start a file
its all in there
you dont need to care
just pretend to and decide from there

do you even do what I like you to
I paid attention to the room for you
can you brush my hair I dont like to stare
but you skin is pale and you lips are bare

for the first time what do you see in me
can you hold my hand
its for free

oh yeah, the room is mine, but you can share with me.
I like you.

i am here
you are now
lets go make a little while somehow
We are here, here its two
do you see me, cos i see you.

holdin on da da di da
da da di da da da di da

i wrote a massive amount and threw it on the core. Its golden light stuff so it gets core classification.

maaaaan..... what a day i've had. I seriously should be insane. I'm working out light points and vortexes and the moment of soul entry and exit. Parallel plains and stuff. Its stuff a genius would have a great time with. Its really too hard for me. I need to get up to scratch with geometrics and nasa type science. I get it all.

oh yeah, bless you my son. in case you feel you need a blessing today.
Here, my hand  is on your head. Cross you. and dont forget the amen mary. she forgets.

next we got the resurrection to come. im going to have lock myself away to avoid embarassment.

i didnt get to write my fairytale easter time story... The rabbit and the golden glove. Its a next easter thing. And one of my goals - I must write my fairytale by Easter next year. Its a long story. Hope I make it.

Easter is a very special time. Its kind of sad really. I'm sure I'll write more about this topic over easter. I remember when I first became linked to the holy light, and it was Sunday morning of Easter and I saw an apparition of Jesus Christ in my bathroom. I had just woken up. it was amazing. I'll never forget it. I wasnt' really that spiritual when it happened or that concerned about Jesus.

  
       
My cat Harley has a mate who's Irish. This is his mate. Naughty kitty's.   I did have a pic of drunk cat here but it disappeared.