o.k this it.

 

i had to dress as my alter ego tonight :)

so without sounding like i love myself

 i dressed as myself! :) HOW BIZARRE

 

with the thought of.... i want to look like angelina jolie, megan fox, and megan kerr combined.

Above is what i got.

so yeah, this is my New Years 2009 outfit.

 

YAY FOR ALTER EGO

well its prelude to a kiss.

the caienda kiss. the last kiss of the calendar.

i think we should ALL kiss a second before midnight so you kiss to seal the year.

and kiss into the new one.

 

KISS SOMEBODY LIKE YOU MEAN IT

  

OR KISS SOMEBODY COS YOU WANT TO HAVE FUN :)

 

Well, its been a funny year. It was a real struggle for me last year around this time. I was so sick. And I swore if I ever got that sick again, I would never be able to go through it all again. It was so hard. I did get a little bit sick again not long ago.. and i spent some time healing myself and then did the thing i should had done last year. I got head scans. I now have the results of both head scans and I'm absolutely fine. I've got nothing wrong with me at all. My health is now perfect.

 

I'm still a little bit sad, and get down, but physically i'm 100%. And mentally, i'm pretty goddam good considering the shit I've been through over the past 3 years and  the past 3 months.

 

So, I go into the New Year with a healthy outlook. Its hard when you lose your health, you dont realise how important it is until you do. I realise now, and i'm going to make sure I never go back to where I did before. I know how to cure myself now. I just divide, breathe life into, flower it, rejoin, and then conquer.  I hope I wont need to do it again. Mabye for others, but not i hope not for me.

I love Leona Lewis.. One of the most talented artists in the world. Advanced soul she is. Beautiful.

This song was my song last year at this time. It was my light. And she expressed through music. I was very closed off from the world around this time last year. One of the hardest times for me. I was sick. And I was so able to heal. I was very crazy but in the best way, and was also very angelic. But very hurt. This song is a soul song.

 

Well after over 3 hours (almost 4) of interviews and testing, including computer skills testing, math, reading and understanding, psychological, personality and those tests where you have to choose the right shape to fill the missing spot, i came out with good scores and good strenths and really worn out! I feel like I've just had an exam. There would have been about 300 questions all up. There were almost 200 in the personality test, so the other 7 sections of the testing would have definitely added up to 300 or more.

 

anyway.....

 

I got a second interview.! YAY!

 

 ....Well, I should get one. They said they are going to recommend me for the position to the law firm.

which is good :)

i got my first interview for this job i'm going for today.

 

I'm scared! big time.

 

Its with one of the best law firms in Perth. Its just my first interview. The position is Business Development Coordinator.

 I'm scared! i've never worked in a law firm before. 

But i have worked in a number of industries who have dealt with law firms and well I think that is going to be my selling point. The fact that I understand the customer really well. Rather than the business of law.

I dont know if I am intellectual enough. I need to read more.

I am getting there. i'm still sorting out my ability to concentrate. I got diagnosed with ADHD. I wont tell them that. And i"m on trial medication that doesnt seem to work. I need to be on the proper stuff.

.Facebook is tragic. I dont like it but i'm starting to.

 

Its like a little place for making friends. I dont usually go on it but I found old Wesley on there. The guy in my dream.

 

you get on there and you got people throwing things at you, instant messagin you, making you do things. everybody knows what everybody is doing. Its like a world wide window war :)

 

Cant believe it, Wesley is still really tall! And he looks like he did when he was 12! funny

I was just thinking. Before bed last night I was thinking 'there's no place like home'. Then I had a dream about going home.

Also,
when i was falling asleep. I had angels around me and in a way I dont usually experience. I had Michael and Raffael with me. And Michael spoke to me. I dont usually hear him speak. He said I was the heart of his light. And he called Raffael. These are the arc angels.

 

I really do think I need to pray more often. I dont pray. My prayers get answered it seems.

 

 

I went for a walk today and journeyed home along the beach. It has kind of a special feel down there at the moment. Lots of love on the beach.

A guy got taken by a white pointer yesterday. There are flowers along the beach. I stopped and sat and did a prayer for him and drew him a picture in the sand.

 

Sometimes I swear I can hear the ocean speaking to me. I hear it in the wind.

 

Anyway, I think that Brian is o.k. And he's in the light. He was a banker. I reckon he's pretty cool :) gives good advice and has a good sense of humour. Lots of smiles.

 

PEACE AND LOVE AND LIGHT TO BRIAN X

 

 

 

Before I went to bed last night, I prayed to be taken into the light and be re-angelised. I wasa bit sad.

 

I had a dream of this guy i went to school with. His name was Wesley Williams. He was a tall smart guy with brown hair and he always liked me in school and i never liked him as much as he liked me. He asked me out and I said no. I saw him once at Uni and he had long curly hair and still tall. I'd probably actually be attracted to him now as my tastes have changed towards that sort of person.

 

Anyway, i dreamed about him last night. I was a girl on earth, but i knew that I was actually Jesus and Mary in my soul. I was an angel but I couldnt tell anybody this. Anyway, Wesley saw me and wanted to take me to his house, so we went to another house first and it was his family I think. They didnt believe in Jesus and Mary and it offended me so badly that I just wanted him to take me home. But he kept stalling and he wouldnt take me home. I was geting upset because i had to stay around these people who didnt beleive in me. They did like me though and i felt like I couldnt get a moment by myself without them all wanting to be around.

 

Anyway, I remember in the end i hired a room from his parents house to use as an office for my light business that I was starting. I remember there was paperwork and a fax machine and that was all I needed to work. I offered to pay them just $50 a week as I had no money. But they wouldnt accept it. I dont know what the light business was.

I was once very much in the light. I was very angelic, i was very creative, i could pull out answers out of the light. I would have amazing moments and was constantly learning about the universe from the light.  I'm happy when i'm like this. Even when i'm not that happy, being able to go into the world of light would lift my spirits and help me cope with life on earth.

 

I am no longer able to do this and it upsets me as I feel like I dont have the light to life me and make me alive.  Earth doesnt really offer me much. ... and people may say... oh you shouldnt say that. well, sorry but its the truth.  Alot of people dont understand when i try to describe the hurt in my soul and will try to tell me that its something we all go through and we get ourselves out of it and life becomes good. I do think this does happen, and yes i have done it, and i can do it again, and i do really know how, but really i'm not in the world i want to be in. I'm really not meant to be on this earth. Most people cant understand that or why i feel like I do. And its something they will only understand when they are standing in my shoes.

 

anyway, i'm just wondering why i'm not a light angel anymore. And whether it was something I did or asked for or whether its something i have to do to help me see something I havent seen. I'm wondering whether I'm descending for I dont deserve it. Light is my whole heart and it means much more to me than I may have realised. I need it to be able to live on earth.

 

I need to be a light angel again :( i dont want to be an earth angel.

 

Pretty tragic day today at the beach just across from where i live. A guy was taken by a white pointer. It actually happened in front of my sisters house up the road. They havent found the body yet. I can still hear the helicopters. I can imagine that it must be really hard on the guys family. You just dont expect to see a white pointer in the bay.

My mum got a sewing machine for Christmas. I went downstairs to find her watching a video on how to thread the machine. My Dad had tried to do it for her and stuffed it up. I said 'Mum I can help you with that. Apart from all the sewing i did at school I also did a 12 week sewing course in Melbourne.'

 

She said oh did you. I didnt tell her that the reason why I did the sewing course was to make rave clothes to wear to the raves! I actually wanted to have my own line of rave clothes called Glow Worm.

 

I use to design my own rave clothes and get a shop called Strange Days to make them. I use to spend any spare money I had (which was little considering I was a gradute business school girl) on rave clothes.

 

Speaking of raves, all my friends are at a rave and I'm at home cos i'm too poor to go. :( unemployed.

I have a job interview in a few days with one of the best law firms in the city. I dont know its beyond my ability or what. I got an interview anyway so they must think I'm capable.

 

 

 

 

and me on santa's knee when i was about 5 or 6

what a day. christmas.

 

Went to my sisters. She's selling her house. So i took photo's as it may be our last christmas there. However, i forgot my mobile phone so i took them on her iphone. I gave the kids their presents, we ate and we had a video hook up with my brother in Ireland.

 

At lunch I got the golden hat in the christmas crackers and i gave it to my little nephew Jacob (that i named as my little King after failing to produce a child of my own) and he tore the hat and screwed it up. Symbolic i think of not wanting the golden hat.

 

About 3.30pm i got bad stomach pains and wanted to go home. but i survived. they only lasted 10 minutes.

 

My nephew got a small  3 wheel motorbike which goes so fast that his mum wont let him on it. An adult can ride it. His dad bought him that. His dad didnt come to Christmas lunch. Anyway... my other nephew got a small cop car that you can ride on like a little 3 wheeler which only goes slow. He's more intersted however in Mickey Mouse and guitars and looking at himself in the mirror with sunglasses on! I like him.

 

His mum (my sister) is a 6 foot 2 cop. Hence the obsesson with police memorabilia. My sister, the cop, has a tit job and I was wondering whether she was thinking mine are fake after their increase in size in the past few days. We dont really talk my sister and I. She got a new engagement ring after she sold hers when her husband and her separated. They are back together now.

 

Anyway, it was a real family day. My little neice (my favourite one) played me a piano song and made me a really good cafe late ... she's only 7 and operates the coffee machine like she's been working in a cafe for years.

 

Anyway, i had a good family day. and I'm in the mood to either sleep or party. I cant make up my mind.