♥ Diaries of Olijah ♥

MY LIGHT SITUATION

I found my light today. I wasnt in a very good siutation at the time I lifted to light, ie. I was distressed, but it forced me to drive myself into high light to help myself get out of the sitation.  It lifted me to the height I needed to see wisdom.

I spent NYE on a pier very sick. I didnt drunk very much but I suddenly became really sick and seriously needed an ambulance. I was in and out of consciousness. I couldnt even move or open my eyes. But anyway....I think I must have needed to visit the light in a serious way. I had been realy sad. Felt like I was in a black hole. I was dark and I didnt even feel like an angel.  I was unable to find any love for life.

I sailed off to light on NYE while passed out on a pier for 4 or 5 hours. I seriously did need help. Anyway.. Im thinking I have a new soul again. I did say a day before that I thought I was going to die. I said as a joke to a friend... oh i hope I dont get slaughtered in a park again. I thought.. I guess its in God's hands.

I went to the beach tonight and said a few prayers at sunset.

I wrote a few thing in the sand about what I need in life to make me happy, why I need to start being positive about life on earth, and why there is a good reason for me to be a person good at doing life. I put all the rotten leaves from my tree (ie. people I've met) to the left and all I have left to meet now is the Great Gods. They will define my life.

I worked out that all the rotten leaves are on my left now... and all I have left to see is the Great Gods on the right. The wise ones. The ones who will define my life.

SNAKE CORE

I drew a pic with a circle and snake on the left side of the circle plus a snake in the middle with a core centre circle. Then I drew four points around the circle. They were Earth, Heaven. Sun, Moon.

I had this urge to Saint Leonardo Davinci. He seemed to be sitting with me on the beach. I do have a strong connection to Leonardo. I decided he should have been a Saint, so I took the honours and Sainted him. I guess I'm allowed. I cant see why not. :)

CURING DAD'S MESOTHELIOMIA

Im sick of curing myself.  I cant be bothered telling my story - the recent horror light I"ve had inflicted on me.  Its disburbing.

I cant help others until Im healthy and wise and strong. I cant stand the hurt I go through anymore. I need to take myself away from the men and women I believe will become nice honest trustworth sincere people. I dont need to be hurt anymore in the way they hurt me. Im too hurt by life itself to have extra heartache.

I decided that my dad is curable. He has mesotheliomia. I did a distant healing on him in light the other night and it was confirmed to me that his asbestosis was cured. Its hard to believe when he's spent two days breathless. But it made me realise that I need to cure in light and on earth, and help him with his lungs and breathing. I saw an answer last night. in my own desperate 'ive had enough' type of plea to cure me.

I was so upset that I was spending so much wasted time curing myself and not spending any time in light to cure my father who was diagnosed with asbestosis. I need to be lifted when Im healing. Cancer requires alot of strength. Today I actually went to a high light and found an answer. It was a very wonderful thing for me.  It showed me that i still do have the heart and soul and light and wisdom to realise anything and everything.

I discovered that mesothelioma isnt the answer. It could well be the situation, but I am reluctant to believe. The problem with my father is 'he has huge trouble breathing and his lungs fill with fluid'. He's not sick or dying. He just is in trouble with his lungs and his heart. He need to consider the Pro's and Con's. And the cons are the system. They are con's. The system would have him in on chemotherapy if he had let them, but its not the same situation as the last guy who died. Its a similar situation, but not the same. I give up on the system.

I know that my head has been in line with the senior professors before, and its taken to the senior professor level before I get counted as a girl who 'actually was right' and not just crazy. I know Im nutty, when it comes to this. But, most people who find cures are disover great things are nutty. :)

But the situation is... I like the theory of lymph. i dont know why they dont look at white cells, lymph and work out why there is a siutation with the work they do.

There is no cure for mesotheliomia. But there is a cure for fluid on lungs that is a caused by a luyph node that likes to run the show. The node must be working with the most severe bactretia there is. Bacteria is something we should be looking at. I went to the doctor and asked about bacteria after 2 years of suffering, and he said... 'no thats just a myth'. And it wasnt. I was later put on antibiotics for lump that appeared in my head for a similar bacteria which cured my problem that I had to put up with for 2 or 3 years.

I have to try convince my mum and dad and sister to believe me now. To take my advice and see the light I saw and get the antibiotics that Dad should have been on from the start.

Light is the only thing that keeps my heart alive. I hope I dont fall again. I hate living without it.